Humor

You might have a lot of kids if…

1. You’ve ever considered purchasing a cow, even though you don’t live on a farm, due to the money you’d save in milk.
2. You are regularly introduced by the number of children you have, instead of your name (i.e. “This is my friend with 6 kids!”)
3. You have lost enough baby weight to add up to one or more fully-grown adults.
4. People often ask if you are Catholic, Mormon, or crazy. Always in that order.
5. Your mortgage payment and grocery budget aren’t far apart.
6. You and your husband consider it a “date” when you go anywhere with only one child – especially if said child doesn’t talk yet.
7. You believe toasters are an inefficient waste of space (Only 4 slices at a time! Tsk, tsk, tsk)
8. You love the Scott brand of toilet paper (1000 squares per roll. Now these people understand.)
9. You’re pretty sure you can see the curvature of the earth in the back of your family vehicle.
10. You always do a roll call before pulling out of your driveway.
11. You have trouble remembering your children’s years of birth.
12. You often call your children by the wrong names.
13. You carry a mini-hospital first aid kit in your family bus.
14. You can’t remember what your bathroom looked like without a toddler’s potty chair.
15. You’ve ever considered using the toddler’s potty chair.
16. A six quart (24 cups) slow cooker is just not big enough.
17. You have a mental list of witty responses to the question, “don’t you know what causes that?” which you would never say out loud.
18. Your husband has a list of witty responses to the same question, which he is more than happy to say out loud.
19. Your “fruit bowl” is a more accurately a “bushel basket.”
20. You buy your toothbrushes by the pound.
21. Instead of asking your husband to make a quick stop at the grocery store on his way home from work, you ask him to make a quick stop at SAMS Club for 4 gallons of milk, 4 loaves of bread, and a few other assorted “little” things… and he agrees that it’s a little trip.
22. You’ve ever considered calling ahead to let Burger King know you’re coming.
23. You want to hug strangers who tell you that you are blessed, but instead you gratefully smile and say, “I know!”
24. You are astounded by how many great-grandchildren you will have if each generation after you has the same number of children as you
25. You truly “get” this verse now:

Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV)
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.